The idea of a Mistress or Domme having a favourite finsub or slave is a very interesting idea that I have seen mentioned on Twitter repeatedly by both Domme and sub. The general consensus seems to be that it is expected that She will have a favoured or most valued slave.
I find this notion ridiculous and it goes against the values that I hold dear about what it means to serve Me and be a part of My Findom world.
I shall use this post to elaborate so that others may come to understand My viewpoint and for those who serve, it may alleviate some concerns about where they sit in this preferential slave list.
There is no Hierarchy!
Firstly, there can to My mind, be no hierarchy among those who serve Me. I am at the top as is My position in this world, then there are those who I have deemed worthy enough to take a place with Me. Those who serve come together with a common goal (My happiness) and work in unison to achieve it. Each slave will do so in his own way, through his own method of service, using the skills and time he has available. No method of service is better than another, no format of laying tribute is more acceptable and as long as each slave does his utmost be it at work for Me or promoting Me then none can do any more. If there was to be a hint of favouritism from Me, that dynamic would be skewed. One slave would feel the need to give way to a fellow slave, and it is ridiculous to think of one slave kowtowing to another! That is why whoever serves Me, whatever their background, their title elsewhere, their prior experience; they come to Me anew and on an equal footing as those who will become their brethren through service to Me.
The Size of the Tribute Debunked
The second thing to dispel instantly is that the size of tribute can dictate who is the favourite slave. I know that there are those submissives among you who fear that the tribute you lay is not significant enough and that it will be overshadowed by one who lays more. Like most Dommes, I do have a minimum tribute. This is in place because I am a great believer in building bonds with My slaves. That is how I am happy. Hearing from one who serves Me is never a burden, it is a delight. Yet clearly if a slave is only laying a tribute of £10/week then how can I possibly devote time enough to him to build a bond. It is not financially viable to do so. Therefore, the moment I accept a slave and have agreed his tribute, the notion of it not being good enough can melt away. I have accepted it and yes, you should strive to better it and make sacrifices for My pleasures, but for it to have been agreed by Me I will have assured Myself that it was at the right level at that point in time for you. That makes it, whatever the sum, equivalent to each and every other slave’s tribute.
False Reasons for Favourites
Many of the other ways or reasons given for a slave to be considered the favourite confuse Me. In no particular order some of the given suggested traits to reach this ranking include:
- appreciating Her time
- not fixating on sex and associated kinks
- treating Her as a human being with feelings and time constraints
- showing Her respect
- being naturally submissive to Her
Just to get some perspective here – there is no way in hell that a sub would be serving Me if he did not do all of those things! That is not a wish list, that is My absolute standard expectations from one who wishes to serve Me. How then can there be favouritism based on that? If you aren’t doing those things, you are not serving. It is that simple. If a Domme is accepting slaves and submissives who do disrespect her, who use her purely as some outlet for sexual gratification or lets them treat her any less than what she is then the fact she has a favourite may be because her standards have not been well set and she is making do with things that should not be permissible.
Fundamentally, if I find a sub is doing any of those things or is behaving in a way that would make Me think negatively of him (beyond him needing to and being willing to learn and be moulded to My liking) and therefore providing a bottom tier in slave service, then he will not be in service to Me any longer. Again, the notion of a slave being more or less favoured therefore falls by the wayside.
So, I can say with full certainty that there is no golden, favourite slave valued above all others. However, those who know Me will know that I can permit a slave to become owned or to graduate as a member of My Congregation should they desire to worship Me. These are accolades that are not given lightly. They are earnt, not only through consistent financial tribute, but through consistent, faithful and loyal service. These are slaves that I have come to trust implicitly. They will serve Me long-term, in most cases viewing Me as their Life Mistress. They are the ones who when they say they will serve Me forever, I believe them. I value them greatly and gladly give them My time and energy.
A beautiful thing about these slaves though is their humility. These slaves do not see themselves as ‘better’. They see themselves as lucky to have found Me earlier and seek to welcome other like-minded souls to the fold. They would never put themselves ahead of another slave and instead know what it is to encourage and to welcome, to be role-models and confidants to those starting out. I hold them dear to Me. All who come to Me anew may aspire for such a position. It is always important to remember that one who begins serving now has just as much potential as one who joined Me a year ago, he just needs the guidance and nurturing by which to achieve it.
The D/s Bond
Every bond created between Me and one who serves is unique. The diversity of interactions, interests and engagement is huge but each and every D/s bond that is forged is precious in its own right. That each is different does not make one better or worse, it makes it perfect. One who is in service to Me need never look at his fellow slaves, his brethren and Findom family with anything but comradery.
Maybe some Dommes do have a favourite finsub or slave. I am happy to say that I am not one of them.